Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got

~Sophia Loren

Nice things like this are what I miss when I am so busy that I can't get around to see what's up with my bloggy friends. Dana gave me the Sexy Blogger Award last week, and I didn't even see it until this morning.

I was all "awww" until I noticed the rules. ARGH! Passing it on to four other bloggers, no problem! Giving 5 reasons why *I* am sexy...problem. It's like when my daughter tells me ridiculous jokes that have no logical answer, and she keeps saying "Guess!" and I keep saying "I DON'T KNOW!!!"

I DON'T KNOW!!! But, I'll give it a shot.

1. I'm scrappy. I'm tough, and I enjoy challenging myself with new physical goals.

2. I have a knack for putting people at ease. I tend to treat everyone as a potential friend, and it doesn't take much to move past "potential."

3. Just when you think you have me figured out, I'll surprise you.

4. I totally rock the Old Navy/Target couture.

5. I dig The Family Guy.


That last one is the one that really makes them swoon.

It's easy to find sexy bloggers, but so difficult to narrow it down to just 4. I'm passing on the award to...

For A Different Kind Of Girl - Known affectionately as FADKOG, I've had a girly boner for this chick since day 1. She's funny, a fantastic writer, and has a kickass rack. :)

Amorous Rocker - I want to be her when I get younger. I can do that, right? Put it in reverse? AR has a long list of adjectives to describe herself on her blog, but what she left out is intelligent, sweet, and smokin' hot!

Vixen - If we're handing out sexy awards, I can't pass her up. Funny, down-to-earth, great mom...hey! I just knocked out 3 for you right there! Your welcome. :)

TUG - RABID Depeche Mode fan. How can you not be sexy when you love music that just oozes sensuousness?

As always, if'n you don't wanna, it's perfectly fine!

~*~*~

We raised over $2400 for The American Cancer Society. Not bad for 4 hours, huh?

This year, I asked the riders to give me the names of the people they were riding for, whether it was someone battling cancer right now, someone who had won the battle, or someone who had lost it. I wrote all of the names on the mirror, and by the end of the day, the mirror was full. Sobering, motivating, and uplifting all tangled together.

I was so beat when I got home that I almost fell asleep in my pineapple coconut ice cream. My husband kept waving his hand in front of my face every few minutes. He says he was talking to me, and I wasn't responding. He lies. I heard nothing.

In true Biscuit fashion, I agreed to sub a BodyPump class Monday morning, not making the connection at the time that the 27th was the day after the 26th. Dur. So, 15 hours after finishing the Spin-A-Thon, I was teaching a pump class, and then I also had my regular spin class last night. Remind me not to do that next year, okay?

In between those classes, I had the MRI done on my shoulder. When the tech called me back, she said "You might want to empty your bladder (Couldn't they just tell me to pee? It would be so much less embarrassingly dorky.) because you'll be on the table for 45 minutes."

Say what? Forty-five minutes? WTF? It's a shoulder, not my whole body! I had an MRI done on my brain several years ago, and I know it didn't take that long.

Shut up.

Because I Can

I had a list of people to hold in my heart on Sunday, and now there is one more.  I found out a couple of hours ago that a dear friend of mine has colon cancer.  On the heels of the reccurance of my father's cancer, and on the weekend when we are holding our annual Spin-A-Thon fundraiser for the American Cancer Society, it was quite a blow.  

I am ashamed of my "I don't wanna" on Tuesday.  I am blessed with good health, and the little bit of discomfort I will endure is nothing compared to what a cancer patient and their family endures. 

So, to those who ask why I would want to ride four hours on a bike that goes nowhere, my answer is "Because I can."  

I can for all of those who can't.  

Wednesday Weirdness

Yes, I know it's Thursday, but yesterday was busy busy busy.

1. What items (if any) do you get embarrassed to purchase? I'm beyond getting embarrassed over the girlie items, and nothing else is worth feeling funny about.

2. What sexual position do you and your partner/significant other use most? You may be surprised, given the details that I have shared, but it's missionary. It's kind of the default when we don't have a lot of time. We break out the others when we can take the time to prolong things.

3. Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off or do you slip them on and off? I would have said yes up until recently, but I find myself getting lazy about it lately. Not sure why. I never used to wear shoes that involved laces until I started working at the gym, but now it's an everyday thing.

4. What is the last thing you broke by accident? My deodorant crystal. I dropped it and it shattered into pieces and dust. I was in a hurry, so I tried to use one of the pieces, and it scratched me. Scratched up underarms hurt!

5. If you had to lose one of your body parts what would it be and why? A toe, or perhaps a finger. Anything else that was visible would really bug me. The foot of intestines that I lost last year hurt like a bitch, and left a pretty scar, but it's not obvious to anyone else.

6. How do you feel about anal sex? It's not really my thing, but I've gifted it a few times. It was one of those experimental things, and it hasn't come up since then. I'm thinking that means he's pretty happy with the alternative. :-)

7. If you could have the ability to solve problems quickly and easily or the ability to know without doubt every time a person told a lie, which ability would you want and why? I suppose it would be to solve problems quickly. Despite my reputation for being naive, I usually have a good feel for when someone is lying to me. I just choose not to confront them for a few reasons.

• The person is of no consequence to me, so it's not worth it.
• I'm afraid of it being turned on me, and that I will be the one who ends up feeling bad.
• I'm angry that they think I'm dumb enough to fall for it, but that embarrasses me, so I avoid.
• I'm hurt that they are taking advantage of my trust, and I'm afraid of where a confrontation will lead.

~*~*~

I want snaps for acting like a big girl. *LOL* I did not whine about my birthday this year. Even though birthdays make me flinch (yes, I know that makes me pathetic), the emails, comments, and e-cards made me feel very special. Y'all rock!

My family made me breakfast in bed, complete with a candle in my french toast. One of those trick relighting candles that requires one to blow it out about 5 times!

I pretty much nailed the launch of the new release in my class last night. That means I'll blow it today. It always works out that way!

*insert witty quote about being busy here*

Because I don't have time to find one.

In bullet fashion, because I don't even have time to make this interesting, but some of you have emailed (bless your heart for being concerned...means the world to me), and I lose track of how long it's been.

• I was just drained from a stupid cough that wouldn't stop. I got prednisone on Friday, and felt SUPAH HUMAN 18 hours later. Yay steroids!!!
• I also got these fucking horse pills that scrape my throat when they go down, and they taste awful.
• I went to the orthopedist about my craptastic shoulder (it just fails during bench press, overhead presses, and sometimes biceps curls) and the x-ray showed nothing, so now I go for and MRI on Monday.
• My dog turned 15 last week. Can you believe that? Labs don't live that long. She has arthritis, can't hear or see well anymore, but she's relatively happy. We've even caught her doing an awkward little canter around the yard in the last week. Spring fever, I suppose.
  
• I launch the new BP release tomorrow night. I'm not entirely ready, but I'll get there. Nothing like waiting until the last minute.
• Aren't you proud of me for not whining about said release for the last month? :-)
• The annual Spin-A-Thon is this weekend. I have nothing prepared for my portion of it, but again, I'll get there. And again, nothing like waiting until the last minute. Not really my fault, though. It's bad timing, but we didn't get to pick the date, and we only found out about it 3 weeks ago.
• I don't wanna ride for 4 hours this weekend. But I will, because it's important to me to support the other instructors, and support the cause...
• ...because my dad's bladder cancer came back, and he had surgery yesterday again.

I haven't been around to see you, and I feel bad about that. I promise to catch up when I can. I do have an HNT for this week, and it's something I've never done before. How's that for a teaser? :-)

Shake it 'til the moon becomes the sun

~Rihanna

1. If you could describe your personality through a dance what would it be?
Freestylin', baby! Flying by the seat of my pants.

I was going to try to be all cool and shit and say Krumping, but I pulled something just thinking about it.

2. What about describing your sex life through a type of dance?
My sex *life* or my sexual *style*? We'll go with style.

• The Shag. *har*
• Pole Dancing (I'm innuendo-ing that, and it completely loses all of it's funny when I have to explain, but I wanted to make sure you knew, because if I actually *tried* to pole dance, it would be entertaining in a way that doesn't really inspire...poles.).
• Something nice and grindy like the Lambada.

3. What's one move on the dance floor sure to turn you on?
Let's remember that my biggest turn on is funny, and one of my biggest delights is watching someone amuse themselves. I love to see people enjoy themselves and not worry at all about what other people think. Face it, take any dancer on a dance floor, and there will be someone in the room who thinks they are totally hot, and someone else who thinks they are a complete dork. So, don't dance for someone else. Find your sweet spot and let go.

4. Is there a dancer you would love to be with? (Dancer can be used as loosely as you want!)
Dance with? The first person who popped into my head, because she totally does her own thing and just dances for the joy of it, is Ellen DeGeneres. I find myself smiling and giggling when I watch her.

5. What moves do you pull out to impress someone new?
I don't harm myself or others.

~*~*~

My children went back to school today! There is peace. Birds chirping. The clock ticking. The fan running. The whooshing in my left ear. The dog's nails scratching the wood floor as she runs in her sleep.

*sigh*

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

~W.C. Fields

Mute Monday: Food and Beverage

You *have* to click-to-big this one! It's hilarious!

~*~*~

Yesterday was our anniversary. I've managed to keep this one for 12 years! How about that?

Stealing Dana's Sunday Stealing

I saw this on Dana's blog on Sunday, and questions 5 and 8 got my attention. I've been mulling for a few days, and decided to swipe it. *waving* Thanks, Dana!


1. How did you come up with your blog title OR what does it mean?
I'm envious of those with witty blog names. I'm not that creative. My blog title is a term we use in my family to describe people who are naive and prone to repeating mistakes. To quote myself from way back:

My father grew up in utter poverty, in rural southern Illinois. We are Grade A hillbilly mutt stock! We watch O Brother, Where Art Thou? and just howl with laughter. Not at it, but totally with it. Dad was the youngest of six children, abandoned by his father when he was 3 years old. They lived in one-room shacks and all six kids shared one bed, three across the top and three across the bottom. He and his closest brother owned one shirt and one jacket between them, so they took turns each day wearing one of them. One of my father's worst memories from school was when a teacher made him remove his jacket only to discover that he had no shirt underneath.

One of the games Dad and his siblings used to entertain themselves with involved throwing stale biscuits to the stray hounds loitering around, and then throwing a rock to see if the dog would eat it. The really smart dogs had to be given several pieces of biscuit before they would fall for the rock trick. The dumb ones would try to eat the rock after only one biscuit. And thus was born the term "one biscuit hound."

2. What are your general goals for blogging?
I never had a plan. My blog is like little snapshots of my life's events. As I've said before, I can remember what was happening in my life when I wrote certain posts, even if those events were not mentioned at all.

It was a way of reaching out when I had very few "real life" friends. It has continued to amaze me that people keep coming back here.

3. Do people “in your real life” know that you blog and do they comment on your blog OR is it largely anonymous?
Very few. The Goddesses and one friend here in my town whom I trust very much. No one in my family knows, and it has to stay that way. While I am no different in "real life" than I am here (if I was, my husband and the goddesses would call me out in a heartbeat), I do censor myself when necessary.

4. How often do you post (x per week)? How often do you read other blogs (x per week)?
This made me laugh out loud. My blogging is so unpredictable. If I have something to say, I say it. If I don't...well, I go missing. I feel pressure sometimes to post so that I won't be forgotten. I suppose we all feel that way sometimes.

I read blogs more often than I post on my own. I do a lot of reading through bloglines. I try very hard to stick to my rule that if I actually *go* to a blog, I comment to let them know I was there. Truthfully, there are a few blogs that almost never get comments from me, and it is almost always due to the fact that the writer and their readers intimidate me, and I know I have nothing useful to offer.

5. How do you select blogs to read (do you prefer blogs that focus on certain topics or do you choose by tone or…?)
My blog selection is haphazard. I follow links, and it is usually a witty comment that gets my attention. I don't peruse blogrolls, I don't go after certain topics or types. Just as in real life, if someone says something that strikes my fancy, I visit to get a better look.

I'm going to combine this question with #8, "What are the things you don’t like about blogging?" because, for me, they go together.

So here's my answer to 8: Guilt by association. That's what I hate about the blogging world.

Just as other bloggers are not in control of the fact that I somehow, through some blogging form of 8 Degrees of Separation, land on their blog, I am not in control of that when it comes to my readers, either. People who don't blog don't get that. It's like an interwebs Faberge commercial.

It IS possible to be drawn to someone's writing, or to them as a person, even if they are nothing like you. I am blogrolled on many blogs that represent alternative lifestyles. Does it mean that I participate in that lifestyle? No. It may not even mean that I know the blogger or am aware of my link on their blog. I find these things out by accident a LOT. I see lots of hits on my stat counter that result from a reader clicking on my link in someone's blogroll. One assumes that most of the blogs listed will be similar in tone and topic. I imagine many of them are quite disappointed to land on ditsy me. At the same time, I am flattered that I made it to the blogroll of someone who really has nothing in common with me. If you were to get a peak at my Bloglines list, you would find every kind of blogger out there on it. Because I find them interesting reads, not because I want to be them, or have their life. I find people, in general, interesting, and I love to know what makes them tick.

6. Do you have any plans to copy your blog entries in any other format, or do you think that one day, you’ll just delete it all?
I've considered both.

7. What are the things you like best about blogging?
Finding people who are just like me. Finding people who are nothing like me. Having a sounding board. Expressing my thoughts (I do have some). Reading others' thoughts. Learning learning learning. I could go on. Blogging has brought people together who otherwise never would have found each other.

9. How do you handle comments?
I don't respond to them nearly as often as I'd like to. I value my readers immensely, and feel like I do a crappy job of showing it.

As far as content, anything that is not inflammatory, degrading, or disrespectful to me, my family, or my friends is perfectly welcome. It's almost never a problem *here*, but on my other blog, it seems to go in cycles. Although the HNT community is really quite small, there are people from all walks of life, with all kinds of goals in mind, who participate. I think sometimes the line gets blurry. The fact that I may be nude in some of them, or be posing in a provacative manner, does not mean that I am issuing an invitation of ANY sort. They are pictures. They are an expression. They are fantasy.

I think I went off on a tangent.

10. Do you have any burning thoughts to share on blog etiquette?
Err on the side of caution. Respect is never a bad thing.

11. Any desired blog features?
I'm fairly content with what I have. :-)

12. Have you suffered blog addiction?
Getting lost in blogworld is a convenient escape when you are unhappy with yourself or your life. I would guess that a LARGE portion of bloggers feel the same, and have been guilty of retreating to that place from time to time.

I may have red hair, but I have a blond brain

iGot my birthday present early. I'd show it to you here, but I'm on the road to Alabama. Blogging with my new toy that iGot. :-) If'n you wanna see it, it's on my retro HNT today.

It doesn't come with a lot of instructions. The guy said "it's fairly intuitive." Dude. Intuitive is all relative, and you obviously don't read my blog.