1. Are you happy with how much you weigh? Why or Why not?
Yes, I'm happy. I worked hard to get here. I will admit that I used to freak a little if my weight started to creep up a couple of pounds, but I've gotten over it and learned that I can easily get it off. In the past six months, I added about 5 pounds of muscle, and it took me a while to accept that new number.
2. Have you ever been at a weight you are happy with?
Because I covered this in #1, I'll reverse the question. Have I ever been at a weight I was unhappy with. YES. People assume that I have always been thin, especially people at the gym, for some reason. You'd think that there, of all places, they might realize that I work for it.
Three years ago, I lost 30 pounds. That might not sound like so much, but I'm 5'6" and I have a really small skeletal frame, so extra weight shows up right away. People ask me how I lost it, and my answer might seem kind of snarky, but it's just the plain truth. A little bit of common sense, and a whole lot of will power. That's what it took, and it took me years to accept that and just get so mad at myself that I was finally able to get serious. I DO understand that there are medical conditions that make it a lot harder, and that getting older makes it more difficult to keep it off.
3. Are you currently on a diet now? If yes, describe.
Of sorts, in that I am trying to change my diet. So far I am failing miserably. I'm trying so hard to eat better because I know it will give me more energy, but I am lazy and eat food that is not so healthy.
4. What is the craziest thing you have ever done to lose weight?
*sigh* I danced on the edge of an eating disorder right after I lost the weight. I was terrified of gaining it back, because that was always what had happened in the past. If I gained 2 pounds, I freaked and would hardly eat until it came back off. Hunger pains, to me, were a reward. They meant I was being "good." Is that sick, or what?
5. What is your favorite thing about your body?
I think, right now, it's my back. My back and shoulders have gotten a lot more muscular in the last 6 months, and it makes me happy. My goal of going from scrawny to scrappy is coming along. :)
6. What is your least favorite thing about your body?
The thing I always bitch about. The Frankenbelly and jacked up belly button. Sam said, during GoG, "Without the scar, we wouldn't have you." She's right, but it still bugs the crap out of me. As my abs get tighter, the scar tissue that is attached to all that stuff down there gets pulled in more, and it's more obvious. That doesn't seem quite fair, now does it?
So, here you go. It honestly looks worse in person, and I'm not just being hard on myself. If you haven't been around long enough to know the story, it's here. Start at the bottom and work your way up. Because I ditched haloscan when I updated my blog template in the spring, it appears that not many commented on those posts, and I want to make sure that you all are acknowledged for the tremendous outpouring of concern and encouragement. You rock!
19 humored me by saying something:
Oh do I know that lose weight and dance with the eating disorder program all too well - unfortunately, I keep dancing.
And can I tell you something? I knew you'd say yes! I *love* your Frankenbelly! Why? Because it looks very much like mine - I have that same vertical scar from pubic bone to belly button. Really! I do! But I'll never post it on my blog because I'm not quite as brave as you are!
Hi Frank!
Glad I don't do this meme. I'd have some doozies for answers...
New scars are always a shock to the system/mind - but your's honestly looks like the kind that fades to nothing - and can't be noticed unless pointed out! And, I don't think you sound snarky in your answer in #1 - the answer makes perfect sense! Happy WW!!!!
"but I've gotten over it and learned that I can easily get it off." - Must stay in context and resist silly innuendo. Come on Wil, you can do it.
The Trailer Of Love
4. What is the craziest thing you have ever done to lose weight?
I lived on Stackers for a couple of years (before they took out the good stuff) and all I got was this irregular heartbeat.
I danced an eating disorder right into treatment and therapy. I am SO much better, but there are days I'd like to not give food the power it still can have.
You're a beautiful woman. There's a lot of power behind who you are.
I'm with Baby on your scar. It's already faded tremendously and it'll keep doing so.
I love that you admitted that gaining *muscle* changes your *target.* It always used to drive me crazy at the club I went to that some people wouldn't use Nautilus machines because they didn't want to gain the weight. WTF in, oh, a million dimensions.
Really bad strategy? Folks who smoke to lose weight! Yeeiikes!
figleaf
I think the craziest thing I've ever done to lose weight was nothing. I gained 30 lbs in law school and did absolutely nothing to lose it while it was happening. Now I don't have time to do much of anything, so I just do my best to not gain any weight. Fighting the thyroid, fighting the 14-hour days, fighting the job stress and insomnia... I really envy you your time at the gym. I could use the "physical therapy."
Yes....I'm all too familiar with the weight dance/eating disorder thingy too.....*sigh*
Hehe....scrappy.....I love that. And I agree. Your body and muscle tone is fanfuckingtabulous girlie!!! xo
Ummm, no, no it doesn't. I've seen it in person. I think the goddesses will back me up.
Trust me on this one, it's 3 inches wider and 10 times darker IN YOUR OWN MIND. As with all of us (except the complete and utter assholes of the world), you are harder opn yourself than ANYBODY else.
And I want you to stop beating up my friend. I love her and she's neat, and it creates quite a conundrum for me b/c I would kick anybody else's ass if they were so mean to you. It sucks that you had to go through all that, and it's not fair... but you're still here.
We can't say that about all of our friends.
I love you, Punkin
Ummm, yeah, and do as I say, not as I do.
;-P
LOL - Thank you for the second post, Sam. I was going to make yet another "Pot, meet Kettle" comment.
I will add my unnecessary agreement with Sam and Siren. Though I've never seen it up close, it looks much diminished in the photos since the original incident. I have some experience with scars and unless you are prone to severe keloid scarring, it will fade almost to nothing. It has, after all, been only like 9 months. Of course, the biscuit we all know and love thinks 9 minutes is too long to wait, sooooo...Plus you can't hide them fabulous abs under a dinky old scar. I tell my boys that chicks dig scars...(which I have found to be true) AND I have tried to point out that we men, dig our chicks with some scars too. It adds some character to boring flawless skin (much like freckles). More to the point, how she accepts those scars as marks of distinction denotes something about her character. And we know you've got that.
Take care,
FMD
The "craziest thing"?
That foot long hunk of your sigmoid colon that they chopped out of you during Christmas week has to rank up there in the top three...! Certainly not an Elvis- sized colon, but between that and the week without solid food - most of it without ANY food - you lost a LOT of weight...
As I have said: plenty of people die when this kind of crisis occurs. Many of those who live never fully recover from the trauma. Of those who do make it back, many take a year at least, maybe much more. And look at you, in a few short months - much less than a year after this nightmare - stronger, tougher, and "scrappier" than you've ever been in your life!!
You are incredible - your strength (in all its forms), your determination, the power of your persona, and your beauty - they far outshine anything that remains as visible evidence from that awful event, which almost took you away forever.
That pic isn't fair - focused in so tight on what your eyes see as a flaw. Stand back and take in this person as a whole - and there is no scar to see.
I think I like that "balls" guy. He's right. Of all the things I know about you, the scar wouldn't come up in the top 100 or so.
I'm really glad that you're still here. Scar and all.
Dana- We're belly twinnies!
Os- I think you SHOULD do it. It can be kind of soul cleansing to be challanged by unexpected questions.
Baby- It's not so much the scar as what it does to the rest of my belly. And, yes, it is a shock to see old pics of myself and it's not there. Weird.
Wil- I knew I could count on someone to innuendo that. Thank you for taking on that job :)
Corky- Holy Moly! That stuff is terrible for you!
FADKOG- I'm glad you're better :) I don't know how we came to be a society that is controlled so much by food.
Figleaf- It's easy to get hung up on a number. Some people will do anything to hang on to it.
Vixen- I think I remember you mentioning that on your blog somewhere. You're in fabulous shape yourself, you know. I'd give anything for YOUR belly.
Sam- I don't see it as being hard on myself. I see it as being objective :)
Siren- *LOL* My thoughts exactly.
FMD- It gives me street cred, right?
SNB- You are SO biased! :)
RLL- Thank you sweetie.
Sometimes, it's easier for me to deal with something if I just shove it under everyone's nose and get it over with. So that's what I did. I have bitched enough about the damage, so I figured just get it out there for once and all.
You could get a "bolt" piercing, then it would really be franken button.
I'm glad you're here to show it.
Good Afternoon Biscuit,
You may want to look into scar massage techniques, these techniques could help you release some of the adhesion in the fascia (tissue under your scar)and reduce the amount of tension your abs are placing on the scar.
Hey Biscuit,
I'm not one to point these things out usually...but I think that SNB guy has a thing for you...you two should hook up, maybe.
Just sayin'
FMD
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