Biscuitude # ...uh...oh, hell, I forget how many this is.

Yesterday, as I do everyday at 2:45, I went to get my children from school. I always park about 1/2 a block away and walk to the school because it's faster than going through the car pool lane. (You know, where no one can really see you because you remain in your car.) I got halfway down the sidewalk and realized that something didn't feel quite right. Quick inventory revealed: bra? check (sometimes I *almost* forget if I've been bumming around the house)...pants? check...shoes? ch- DAMMIT! I was wearing...my slippers. Time to go back and change? No, of course not. Would it be better to just throw them in the car and go barefoot? I am from Alabama, but geez, it's kind of cold. Oh well, maybe no one will notice, right?

I get to the door where my daughter comes out, and the first thing she says is "Mom, why are you wearing your slippers?" I explain that my brain told me I was already wearing shoes, so I didn't think to check before I left the house. We laugh at silly mommy and go to the door where my son comes out.

The boy appears, and with nary a glance, he says "Mom, why are you wearing your slippers?!" So I explain again, adding that I was REALLY EMBARRASSED when I looked down and saw that I had my slippers on when I was walking down the sidewalk to school.

We get halfway through the crosswalk, and my son turns to the crossing guard and says "My mom is really embarrassed because she came to get us in her slippers." Thank you. Now everyone is staring at my feet.

Oh no. It's not over yet.

We laugh all the way home. My husband comes home. I realize that we need dog food and cheese slices (you know, for the boy who exists on grilled cheese), so I go to the grocery store. I get out of my car, get halfway between my car and the store, look down, and $%&@#!!! I DID IT AGAIN!

What the hell is wrong with me? Is my endeavor to maintain some sense of normalcy (e.g. not flip the fuck out!) during the holidays so mentally taxing that I cannot even dress myself? Am I walking around in such a state of distraction that footwear is too difficult to manage?

I outed myself to my husband, knowing that he would assure me that it was not as bad as I thought it was. His response? "You went to the store in THOSE GOOFY LOOKING THINGS?!"

Thanks, hon. I feel better now.